What to Expect If You’re a Latino Improviser
With all the recent discussion regarding diversity in improv, we wanted to shed some light on our experiences being here in Chicago pursuing careers in comedy. Here is our perspective on what to expect if you’re a Latino improviser… and it comes with some caliente spice (yeah, we went there).
“I want to pitch something to you, but I don’t want to sound racist…”
Rich: I never get tired of hearing this one. 10 times out of 10, the idea is racist. But that’s cool! I’m all for scene ideas that touch on the topic. People are always worried that their idea will hurt my feelings– and to those people I say: you won’t.
My only question to you is: What are you trying to say with the scene? Is it something poignant and smart? Or are you just trying to make a cheap Elian Gonzalez joke?
“What if you wore a Mexican wrestling mask?”
Miguel: I did a scene in a Writing 6 show back in 2010. It has since been pitched to me 3 additional times by 3 separate shows. How badly do white people want to wear luchador masks and dance to Salsa music while holding a guitar?! I love the desire to accept the culture, I really do. But if you’re honestly jonesin’ for a Latino fix, let’s go to 26th Street and buy some elote and pay a mariachi band to sing us a song or two.
To all the writers out there, let’s agree to let the “Over-Accepting Parents” scene go to sleep and never wake up. That goes for black parents accepting white kids, white parents accepting Asians and Latino parents accepting Jews. It’s all funny; it’s all great satire, but it’s ALL been done before.
Prepare for the “Who’s Got the Most Hispanic Characters?” competition.
Miguel: Let’s be honest. This super-cool, independent sketch show you’re auditioning for only needs one Hispanic. I’m usually the only Latino in a group audition, but there was one time I shared the spotlight: there were two.
I told myself, try to show them that I bring more to the table than my ethnicity, that I’m an actor, too! It wasn’t until there were two scenes back-to-back with some Latin flavor that it hit me: I’m him. He’s me. FINKLE IS EINHORN!
“Wait… So are you black, or not?”
Rich: “Yes… no… kinda?” I get this one a lot. Now, I’m Dominican, but sometimes I get dismissed as “just black” and other times, I get dismissed at just being mixed. So here’s the low-down on us Dominicans hailing from La Hispaniola: During the times of Western Exploration, European conquistadors brought African slaves to the Americas and lumped them together with the natives they found in the New World (who also became slaves). The result? Me! Many Cubans, Dominicans and Puerto Ricans actually have strong African features like myself and can be as light skinned as Drake– or as dark as Wesley Snipes. So what am I? Not Wesley Snipes.
You play other ethnicities by default.
Miguel: Being a Native American was fun! Basically, any non-white ethnicity is an automatic casting opportunity for me. Even if the accent isn’t perfect, I’ve learned that sometimes all that matters are the dark features.
“Do you know [some Latino actor]? You guys should do a show together!”
Rich: Nope, I don’t know [some Latino actor]. I’m sure [some Latino actor] is great, but what’s your reasoning for us to do a show together? Now, I’ll perform with anyone*… but I’d like to know– in your opinion– what makes us so compatible? Go on. I’m listening.
*I do not consider Miguel to be just [some Latino actor]. So if you suggest that I do a show with him, I will totally agree.
You can get away with making choices that other people can’t.
Rich: Ever been to a show where somebody decided to play a stereotypical Mexican gardener? Maybe a Cuban drug dealer (which is basically a bad Scarface impression)? I did A LOT when I first started out. Looking back at it now, I realize people use these characters as just a small gag and NOT what they should be: an honest comedic choice.
A teacher at Second City once told me that being Latino, I could make character choices and play them with integrity and to the height of my intelligence. I’m fortunate that being raised in the States and raised in the country where my parents are from inspires me to make creative choices other actors can’t make. That is something powerful I never take for granted.
Stand out– like a Latino Boss.
Miguel: I’ve always been the odd one out. Among my fellow Latinos, I stand out because I was raised Lutheran, not Catholic. I grew up in the west suburbs of Chicago and not in the city. I only speak “conversational” Spanish, and I eat mild salsa over spicy because it helps me sleep better at night.
Among my fellow improvisers/comedians, I stand out because of my culture and the way I look. Not all Latino comedians are the same. Each story is different. Realizing and accepting that you’re different and using that to project your point of view is a way to get seen and heard.
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Thereʼs been plenty of advice offered up on this site for the Under-30 set. Die now, live later, you say? That might be all fine and dandy, but what about the rest of us? Those sad saps who were born before 1983? Whether you like it or not, here are the hard and fast truths about aging that you need to face right now. If you are doing– or are about to do– any of the following, STOP IMMEDIATELY. You are too old, my friend.
Attend a Music Festival That Involves Camping/Swedish Electronica/Side Braids
You saw all those awesome Instagrams your friends posted from SXSW. Youʼre pumped for this summerʼs Lolla lineup. Coachella is just a few weeks away… maybe youʼll try to figure out a way to get there? NO YOU WONʼT. Itʼs crowded. Itʼs sweaty. The foot- pump-y hand washing stations outside the porta potties are always out of non-potable water. Admit that a nice brunch with good friends sounds a hell of a lot better way to spend a weekend.
Apply to Medical School
Remember that one time you so knew you had blepharitis? For years, your superior symptom-Googling gave you a certain… I dunno, air of medical quasi-authority. Donʼt pretend like applying to medical school never crossed your mind… because you still had time to consider a career change. So letʼs see. If you start now, you should be a full- fledged M.D. when youʼre about 47 or so. Or maybe marketingʼs not so bad, after all.
Get a Nose Job
Speaking of doctors…. Elective plastic surgery is only fun to fantasize about until a certain age. Then you have kids, and the thought of risking something going wrong for a smaller bump doesnʼt seem (as) worth it. Youʼre just going to just have to be satisfied with the mocked up “before and after” photo you got at that appointment you had a few years ago when you were really, really worried about that potentially deviated septum. On the bright side, once the kids get married, the window opens again– and you can get a whole new face, if youʼve invested your funds wisely.
Flirt with Guys Who Look Like Johnny Depp
Let me save you on this one. Hereʼs what you donʼt want to have happen:
YOU
(breathy whisper, to dirty-hot barista)
Wow. You look just like Johnny Depp.
BARISTA
Thank you, maʼam.
Also, donʼt forget the part where “You” are 9 1/2 months pregnant and are literally out of breath from the human in your gullet sitting on your lungs.
Change Your name to Samantha
If youʼve been holding on to this dream past the age of nine and/or the cancellation of Gimme a Break!, weʼve really gotta talk. Unless your name right now is Arnold, Ralph or Joshua, in which case, I totally support you and want you to know I just want you to be happy. Everyone deserves to live their all of dreams. Mostly.
Liz Kozak (Editor) is a writer in Chicago who would take commas and hyphens over cake and ice cream any day. She also contributes regularly at The Huffington Post and blogs about stuff at poseypieproductions.com. Follow Liz: @LizKoz
BY THE SECOND CITY | APR 05, 2013
SCTV Sneak Previews
Gene and Roger review the latest Star Wars, “Empires are a Girl’s Best Friend.”
BY THE SECOND CITY | APR 05, 2013
Your Father’s Approval, and Other Things You Should Stop Striving For.
Some people spend their entire lives chasing their fathers’ approval. From choosing which college to attend to deciding whether or not mom would like that box set of Cheers for Christmas, dads influence our every decision. Well, I’m here to tell you now: stop. Your dad is one of literally billions of people on the planet. The only thing that connects you to him is the fact that he graciously spilled his DNA in your mother one day. If you really can’t live without other people’s approval, at least make a thoughtful selection. Find a community of people that you respect and then push each other to be better, like a cult or a high school wrestling team. Here are some other things that you should stop striving for:
-A Stress-Free CTA Ride. Yes, the CTA sucks. But looking in the direction of the next train doesn’t make it arrive faster, and working yourself into a quiet rage while squeezed between a DePaul student’s backpack and a lunatic pissing his sweatpants doesn’t get you to work any faster. Instead, force a smile and accept the CTA for what it is: a poorly-run public service.
-That Million-Dollar App Idea. You know that simple-yet-amazing iPhone app idea you have? Someone else developed it last year. Just play Powerball.
-A Full Understanding of the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict. Even International Relations professors don’t know what is going on over there. Read some Wikipedia articles and call it a day.
-A Productive Day Off. So you have MLK Day off, and you’re planning on knocking out that laundry list of chores? Your bottle of Lubriderm, box of tissues, and web browser have different plans. Don’t forget to turn on “private browsing.”
-A Drinkable Beer with Fewer Than 100 Calories. No number of ads featuring giggling gal pals on a night out can change the fact that Miller64 tastes like carbonated cat urine.
-The Perfect Fedora. If Justin Timberlake looks silly wearing something, rest assured you look even sillier.
-A Use for Your Philosophy Degree. It’s not that you’re unemployable. After all, there are lots of customer service and retail jobs available. Plus, college wasn’t a total waste of time. I’m sure you had a great time debating Ayn Rand with your buddies in the student union.
-A Valuable LinkedIn Profile. LinkedIn is an extra-boring Facebook. “I would like to add you to my professional network” might as well read “I have nothing to do today and, well, why not?”
-Writing the Next Great American Novel. After a decade of writing sessions, all you’ve accomplished is getting the Starbucks barista to memorize your order. And she totally hates you.
-Fame. The odds of achieving this are so low it’s laughable. Just have a good time and push your kid into piano classes at age 3. You never know.
-Fortune. The odds of achieving this are so low it’s laughable. Just have a good time and push your failed musician of a child into an MBA program. You can live off him.
-Convincing People That Disagree With You On Something That You Are Correct. This sounds defeatist, but it’s really intended to save you time. You are not Noam Chomsky or Christopher Hitchens, so you don’t stand a chance. Just hang out with people who already agree with you and high-five each other constantly.
-Flossing Everyday. Every… day…
-Being Cool. Coolness is overrated and silly. You know those brooding quiet guys at the party who look super badass and complicated? Me neither, because they’re boring. Unless you’re Johnny Depp or a main character in a nouveau vampire movie, just be energetic and emotionally open. It’s way more fun.
-A Perfect Pushup. This is completely unattainable unless you have perfect patience and everything fun in your house perfectly breaks at the perfect time.
-An Occupy Movement That Accomplishes Anything. I like camping too, but come on.
-A BMI in the “Healthy Range.” Diets are boring and so are conversations that revolve around them. Just put a belt on it or something if you want to feel different. You’re beautiful.
-World Peace… Ah, what the heck, we need dreams. Keep striving for this one.
Asher Perlman performs with iO, Second City, and Comedysportz. He also writes and performs comedy with ATV and is a winner of the Gimme 5 solo sketch competition at The Playground.
BY THE SECOND CITY | APR 04, 2013
Maribeth Monroe on No Jacket Required
This episode Chris sits down with the very hilarious Maribeth Monroe from Comedy Central’s Workaholics.
BY THE SECOND CITY | APR 04, 2013
A Word on Marriage
I didn’t change my facebook profile picture to a pink equal sign. Don’t get me wrong I support empty gestures as much as the next guy; and there’s nothing like a picture of Ernie and Burt superimposed over parallel lines to legitimize a serious political issue. I’m just not entirely on board with gay marriage or heterosexual marriage either. Sure, I’m a married man (very happily if my wife is reading this) but marriage is an institution that blurs the line between Church and State. A couple can get married in a church or a courthouse by a reverend or a judge, where else does this crossover exist? You can’t serve your jury duty in a church choir (although that could make for an hilarious Jack McBrayer movie). You can’t pay your taxes with prayers (I tried).
This whole debate could be clarified if the government left recognizing marriage to the churches, temples, synagogues, and covens and simply let two people of whatever gender, race, or religion merge like corporations do. That’s basically what marriage is in the eyes of the government, isn’t it? Two people combine their assets, tax responsibility, and such. Taking the word “marriage” out of the equation eliminates any questions of morality and then people who did oppose gay mergers would have to come out and say, “I oppose this because I’m a hateful, ignorant, prick”. The U.S. does not need to legislate morality, leave that to the Taliban. So if your church is progressive and approves of gay marriage, great; if your church opposes gay marriage, fine but the male prostitute your pastor visits is free to legally spend his life with the person he loves. That’s win-win. I hope the day comes soon when any U.S. citizen can get down on one knee and ask the person they love, “Will you file jointly with me?”
Ed Furman is a Second City alumni and a co-founder of the Annoyance Theater. He is a playwright and co-authored the hits Co-ed Prison Slutsand Rod Blagojevich: Superstar.
BY THE SECOND CITY | APR 03, 2013
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