The Next Great Investment Opportunity for Martin Shkreli

Dear Mr. Shkreli,

Hello, Martin! How are you holding up these days? I see that you’ve switched your Twitter feed over to “private,” so that’s pretty exciting.

I don’t want to waste your time, Mr. Shkreli, so let me get right to it: after reading all about you, I was doing some looking around and I couldn’t help but notice that the website Shkreli.org was available for purchase at the low, low price of $10.

You, of course, should know a few things about in-demand items being available for purchase at affordable rates. After all, your company, Turing Pharmaceuticals, bought the life-saving drug Daraprim (a 62-year-old drug that is the standard of care for treating a life-threatening parasitic infection) and subsequently raised the price from $13.50 a tablet to $750 a tablet.

So of course, upon seeing how easy it was for an interested party to acquire Shkreli.org, I immediately seized the opportunity and bought the domain. And, much like your company does with Daraprim, I am also willing to make this website available to you…at a teeny, tiny price increase. So if you (or anyone else, for that matter) is interested in purchasing Shkreli.org for the new, market-determined rate of $10,000, I would gladly transfer it right on over to you. Until then, sadly, I’m afraid the website will just have to feature this: click here to visit Shkreli.org.

Thanks, Martin! Hope to hear from you soon.

–Ben

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Ben Larrison (@benlarrison) is a Chicago-based comedy person and writer. He is a graduate of the Second City Training Center’s Severn Darden Graduate Program. His website is www.benlarrison.com.